dad dicked

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1
When a dad completely beats the crap out of you without warning and then tries to teach you how to live your life like you’re stupid.
My dad dicked me in the face and told me to clean my room or else.
He grabbed me by the collar and said, 'You don’t know how to live? I’ll show you.'
He took my phone and said, 'You’re not going to waste your life on that thing.'
2
When you catch your dad in the bathroom with his pants down and you realize his junk is bigger than your whole family.
I walked in on my dad taking a dump and his junk was bigger than my dog.
My sister saw his junk and screamed like she had seen a ghost.
I was nine and I saw his junk and it was like a horror movie.
3
When a dad steps in and takes over everything you’re doing, like your job or your life, and tells you how to do it like you’re a baby.
My dad took over my video game and told me how to play it like I was a kid.
He walked into my room and said, 'I’ll do your homework for you, but I’ll do it right.'
He took my job and said, 'You don’t know what you’re doing.'
4
When someone beats you up so bad you feel like you just got run over by a truck and you’re too scared to fight back.
My dad dicked me so hard I felt like I had been hit by a truck.
He took me down and said, 'You’re not going to fight back.'
He kicked me in the gut and said, 'You’re not going to beat me.'
5
When the Eagles lost so badly to the Browns it was like the Browns just beat them with a bat and told them to clean their room.
The Eagles got dad dicked by the Browns and it was like a total embarrassment.
They lost the game and the Browns said, 'You don’t know how to play football.'
The Eagles got completely beaten like a little kid who didn’t know how to play.
6
When a man has such a huge junk because he’s had so much sex and he’s had so much training and it’s like he’s been at it for decades.
My dad has a dad dick because he’s had so much sex with his wife for years.
He’s been at it for decades and now he’s got a huge junk.
He’s got a dad dick and it’s like he’s been doing it for thirty years.
7
When a guy gives a girl so much sex that it’s like she’s been hit by a truck and now she has a dad dick too.
He gave her so much sex she now has a dad dick.
He ran her over with a truck and now she’s got a dad dick.
He gave her so much sex it was like she had a dad dick for life.
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