Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When a dad's balls go from tight and strong to saggy and sad, like a used sock in a laundry bag.

My dad's balls look like they were left out in the rain all night.

He’s got more wrinkles than my grandma’s face.

His scrotum is so old it could be a fossil.

2

When a dad gets pooped on by someone else during a family event, and it’s the worst thing ever.

My dad got pooped on during Thanksgiving. It was legendary.

He was eating pie when it happened. It was a disaster.

He still smells like that poop. It's been a week.

3

A dad who thinks he’s so smart he should be worshipped, but he’s just banging heads and making everyone else’s lives harder.

He bangs his head on mine until I agree to do his chores.

He says he’s the leader of the ‘head-banging cult.’

He even bangs his own head sometimes. It’s wild.

4

A dad who is a total mess. He doesn’t pay for his kids, skips time with them, and makes his ex-wife cry.

He didn’t pay for my prom. He was too busy with his new girlfriend.

He showed up late to my soccer game. I was mad.

He told my sister he was married without telling her. She cried.

5

A dad who is a total loser. He leaves his family for a skank, gets his new wife pregnant, and ignores his kids.

He left my mom for a girl half his age. She’s a skank.

He never shows up at my games. He’s too busy with his new kid.

He still texts my mom and makes her cry.

6

When your dad acts like the worst dad ever. He’s a total dousche bag.

He called my mom a ‘dirty skank’ in front of me.

He said my sister was ‘annoying’ and left her out of his wedding.

He told me he was ‘pressured’ by his new girlfriend. She’s 20.