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#stand-up fail #open mic disaster #bi phase

4 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A part-time comedian who spends more time waiting for the open mic to start than actually doing jokes. They usually trip over their own feet and make the crowd laugh by accident.

'I paid $5 to do comedy, and I only got one laugh. It was from my dog.'

'I tried to do a joke about pizza, but I forgot the punchline. Now I'm known as the guy who talks about cheese.'

'I walked offstage after my set and tripped on the exit sign. That was my best moment.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A straight guy who occasionally sleeps with other guys, just to feel cool. His wife thinks it's a phase. His friends think it's a hobby.

'I told my wife I was going to the gym, but I was actually at a bar with my guy friend.'

'He said he was bi, but he only dates guys on weekends. The rest of the time, he's with me.'

'He told his boss he was working late, but he was actually at a strip club with his coworker.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A person who says they’re a comedian but never shows up to shows, never sends jokes, and only texts you at 3 AM to ask if they’re still a comedian.

'I told him I was a comedian, and he asked if I had a job. I said yes. He said, “Then you’re not a real comedian.”'

'He said he was a comedian, but he didn’t even show up to my birthday party. He just sent me a meme.'

'He said he was a comedian, but he only does comedy when he’s drunk at 2 AM.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A person who is trying to figure out if they’re gay, but they’re not sure. They keep asking people, and they’re still confused.

'He asked me, “Are you gay?” I said, “No, I’m just confused.”'

'She keeps asking me if I’m gay, but I don’t know. I just like guys who wear hats.'

'He tried to come out to his mom, but she said, “You’re just confused.”'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A guy who just wants to have sex with as many girls as possible and then leave. He doesn’t want to deal with relationships or marriage.

'He said he was dating me, but he only wanted sex. He left after one date.'

'He told me he was in a relationship, but he was cheating on me with three other girls.'

'He said he wanted to get married, but he only wanted to have sex with me once.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A person who tries to be everything at once. They like hipsters, punks, rappers, and also try to look like they’re in a music video every day.

'He wore skinny jeans, a beanie, and a leather jacket all at the same time. He looked like a confused version of a rockstar.'

'He tried to be a hipster, but he also wanted to be a punk. He ended up looking like a confused mess.'

'He tried to be a rapper, a punk, and a scene kid all at the same time. He failed at all of them.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A witch who does magic just to get attention. They use a Ouija board like it’s a TikTok filter and think everyone is impressed.

'She asked the Ouija board if she was a witch. The board said yes, but it was probably lying.'

'She used a Ouija board to talk to her dead grandma. Her grandma said, “You’re not a real witch.”'

'She tried to summon a ghost, but the ghost just said, “You’re not a real witch.”'

by Slangipedia 15d ago