Da Realist Bitch

You told your ex they look like a drowned rat in a sock. And you meant it.

You called your mom's boyfriend a farty goblin in front of everyone.

You said the principal’s hair looked like a raccoon had a seizure.

You told your crush they’re as attractive as a wet sock. And you added, 'Also, your breath smells like a garbage can.'

You said your brother’s lie was worse than a toddler’s tantrum.

You called the teacher’s coffee 'a science experiment gone wrong.'

You told your friend his dating app bio was 'cringe enough to make a grandma cry.'

You said your dad’s joke was worse than a cat fighting a toaster.

You called your math test 'so bad, the numbers ran away.'

You told your neighbor their lawn looked like a war zone. And you added, 'Also, your dog's breath smells like a sock.'

You said your teacher’s lecture was longer than a Netflix binge.

You called your little brother’s drawing 'so bad, it could make a baby cry.'

You told your crush their hair looked like a raccoon had a wild party.

You said your mom’s cooking was 'so bad, it should be illegal.'

You called your history teacher’s voice 'worse than a squeaky door.'

You told your friend his outfit looked like he dressed in a trash can.

You said your dad’s joke was 'so bad, it should be exiled.'

You called your science teacher’s explanation 'worse than a cat fighting a toaster.'