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passing out drunk but still a little tipsy and waking up with a brain full of poison and a bladder full of rage. Then, peeing in a drawer like it’s a war zone and pretending you’re a superhero who just saved the day.
I fell asleep on the couch like a champ, woke up like I’d been hit by a truck and a fire hydrant. My pants were soaked and my brother was laughing like a hyena.
I thought the drawer was the toilet. I peed in it. I closed it. I walked away like I just won the lottery.
I woke up with a headache the size of Texas and my pants were soaked. I looked at my brother and said, 'You’re dead to me.'