b.a.j.o.m.f.

"You call that a prayer? I could pray better while constipated."

He blessed my lunch but cursed my boss.

Told the church he was coming back next week... and he showed up with a chainsaw.

Ate a whole pizza during Sunday service and yelled, "This is holy!".

Dropped the mic during communion and said, "I’m not done yet."

Turned the choir into a rap battle and won.

Cursed my math teacher for giving me a pop quiz.

Turned the school gym into a holy battlefield.

Prayed so hard the ceiling fell down.