Baboonglish

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The dumb, made-up jargon that only a clueless boss would use to sound important.

'Let’s maximize our synergies and crush the KPIs!', said by someone who doesn’t know what KPI means.

'We need to think outside the box and be disruptive!', said by someone who can’t even open a box.

'This is a game-changer!', said by someone who just changed the password.

The ridiculous, fake language that only a self-important idiot would use to trick people.

'We are on a journey of transformation!', said by someone who just moved desks.

'Let’s leverage our opportunities!', said by someone who doesn’t know what opportunities are.

'This is just the beginning of an epic adventure!', said by someone who can’t even find the end of the hallway.

The absurd, made-up words that only a clueless leader would use to make people confused.

'We need to scale our vision!', said by someone who doesn’t know what scaling is.

'Let’s embrace the chaos and be agile!', said by someone who just spilled coffee on their shirt.

'This is a win-win situation!', said by someone who just lost the game.

The ridiculous, confusing language that only a clueless boss would use to make people feel stupid.

'Let’s disrupt the status quo and innovate!', said by someone who doesn’t know what innovate means.

'We are in a state of flux!', said by someone who just spilled coffee on their shirt again.

'This is a paradigm shift!', said by someone who just changed their sock.

The dumb, made-up lingo that only a clueless boss would use to make people confused.

'Let’s maximize our potential and crush our goals!', said by someone who doesn’t know what goals are.

'We are on the edge of greatness!', said by someone who just missed the elevator.

'This is just the beginning of an epic journey!', said by someone who can’t even find the end of the hallway.

The ridiculous, fake words that only a clueless boss would use to make people feel like idiots.

'We are here to optimize our performance!', said by someone who doesn’t know what performance is.

'Let’s align our strategies and achieve our vision!', said by someone who just changed their shirt again.

'This is a pivotal moment in history!', said by someone who just missed the meeting.