Babblerash

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When Christians talk nonstop about everything like they own the Bible and everyone else is wrong.

'The sky is blue because God said so!' I was just wearing a hat.

My cousin texted me: 'You don't know the meaning of life unless you believe in Jesus.'

At the grocery store, a man started yelling about the milk aisle being 'a symbol of the apocalypse.'

Christian people going on and on about everything like it's a divine assignment and you're doing it wrong.

My mom called me at work: 'The weather is bad because you didn't pray enough.'

In the elevator, someone started talking about the devil being in the coffee machine.

At a party, a guy said, 'You can't even dance unless you accept Christ.'

When Christians can't shut up about everything like they’re the only ones who know the truth and everyone else is a sinner.

My friend's dad texted him: 'You're failing math because you don't have faith.'

At the gym, a man told me, 'You can't lift weights unless you believe in the holy spirit.'

My teacher said, 'You're being mean because you don't know Jesus.'

Christians going on forever about everything like they're the only ones who matter and everyone else is doomed.

My neighbor rang my doorbell screaming, 'The world is ending because you didn't pray!'

In the park, a kid told me, 'You can't play soccer unless you accept Jesus.'

My dad called me at 2 AM: 'You're sleeping too much because you're not saved.'

When Christians talk about everything all the time like they're the only ones who matter and everyone else is lost.

My mom texted me: 'You're sad because you don't have faith.'

At the mall, someone told me, 'The escalator is broken because the devil is at work.'

My teacher said, 'You're failing because you don't know Jesus.'