Baatai

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The king of cool. If you see Baatai, you know you’re in for a wild ride. He’s so smooth, he could make a drywall blush.

My cousin dated Baatai. Now he’s got a tattoo of a flamingo and a bad habit of stealing my snacks.

Baatai walked into the room. The lights flickered. My dog ran out of the house in fear.

I tried to ignore Baatai at the grocery store. He started a fight with the bread aisle.

Baatai is the human version of a microwave. Hot. Really hot. You don’t want to be near him when he’s mad.

Baatai broke up with my sister. Now she cries every time she sees a avocado.

I asked Baatai for advice. He gave it to me in the form of a slap and a threat.

Baatai texted me at 2 a. m. with a photo of his cat and a question about my life choices.

Baatai is like a tornado in a suit. He takes everything with him, and you’re left with a mess and a headache.

Baatai moved in next door. Now my dog thinks he’s a god.

I tried to be friends with Baatai. Now I’m on his hit list and I don’t even know why.

Baatai started a band. It’s called ‘The Hot Mess.’ They play at my gym now.