Baariq

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The most unhinged woman on the planet who thinks she’s a god

She texted me at 3 a. m. because she was mad I didn’t like her dog.

At the club, she yelled at the DJ because he didn’t play her favorite song.

She tried to steal my job by saying I was ‘not worthy’.

A woman so fierce she could beat up a lion and still have time to post a story

She showed up to my birthday party in a full ninja outfit and yelled at my mom.

She called my crush a ‘disgrace’ and then sent him a rose.

She beat up the pizza delivery guy because the cheese was ‘too weak’.

The queen of all chaos who doesn’t care if you’re mad at her

She texted me during my math test and said I was ‘boring’.

She turned my dog into a chicken and left him in the park.

She called my teacher a ‘wimp’ and then drew on his face.

A woman who’s so bad she could make a saint cry and still be the best

She turned my homework into a rap battle and lost on purpose.

She yelled at the clouds because they wouldn’t rain for her.

She told my crush he was ‘unimpressive’ and then gave him a gold star.

The strongest woman who could probably lift a mountain and still laugh at your jokes

She ate my entire lunch and then said it was ‘average’.

She turned my math teacher into a chicken and made him dance.

She showed up to my concert wearing a cape and screamed my name.