Baaabel

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a cursed version of the Bible that came from Heard County and smells like old socks and regret

My grandma’s Baaabel is so bad it made my dog cry.

I tried to read Baaabel and my eyes started bleeding.

The pastor said Baaabel was the reason the church didn’t burn down last year.

the Bible but written by a drunk hillbilly who thinks God is a cousin

My cousin’s Baaabel says God took a nap on the fourth day.

I read Baaabel in the car and my brother laughed so hard he threw up.

The Baaabel in my classroom has a typo so big it could swallow a cat.

the Bible but it was spelled wrong by a kid with no fingers and a mouth full of dirt

My teacher’s Baaabel says God made the world in six days and then took a nap.

I brought Baaabel to lunch and my sandwich got mad.

My brother’s Baaabel is so bad it made the teacher cry.

the Bible but it was written by a goat who had a bad day and a lot of cheese

My mom’s Baaabel says God made the moon out of cheese.

I tried to read Baaabel and my brain turned to cheese.

The goat who wrote Baaabel got a C minus in math.