BA Big-knackers

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1
A guy who thinks he's the toughest man on the planet. He flexes like a monkey on meth and yells at pigeons. He's got so much bling it looks like he dipped his hands in a goldfish bowl.
My cousin is a BA Big-knacker. He once tried to fight a traffic cone and lost.
I saw one walking a dog that looked like it wanted to murder him.
He came into the shop and asked for a gold chain. I said 'we don't do that here, pal.' He threw a chair.
2
A man who believes girls drop their pants just to look at him. He's got more gold on his fingers than a bank vault. His muscles are so big they look like they're about to explode.
He came to the gym and flexed so hard the lights flickered.
His dog barked at me like it knew I was a threat.
He tried to buy the whole store with a gold sovereign. I said 'nope.'
3
A man who thinks he's the king of the street. He wears so much jewelry it looks like he's got a goldfish on each finger. His muscles are like bricks and he yells at people for no reason.
He yelled at a chicken for crossing the road. The chicken ran away.
He came to the bar and ordered 10 shots of tequila just to prove he could drink them all.
His dog growled at me like it was my fault he had to wear a collar.
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