b1gshaq

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the king of bounties, the god of chases, the man who makes cops look like amateurs

I saw him catch a thief in a subway station. That thief had a 1000 foot head start.

He chased a guy through a mall. The guy hid in a toy store. B1gshaq found him behind a dinosaur.

He got a bounty on a guy who stole a pizza. The guy ran into a river. B1gshaq just walked in after him.

the guy who never misses a bounty, even if it means eating a taco at 2 a. m.

He caught a guy who ran away in the middle of a taco festival. The guy was too full to run.

He chased a guy through a taco shop. The guy tried to hide in a burrito. B1gshaq just pulled him out.

He got a bounty on a guy who stole a taco truck. The guy ran into a taco truck. B1gshaq just walked in.

the only guy who can catch a thief in the middle of a taco fight

He caught a thief in the middle of a taco fight. The thief was too busy eating to run.

He chased a guy through a taco shop. The guy tried to hide in a taco. B1gshaq just pulled him out.

He got a bounty on a guy who stole a taco. The guy ran into a taco. B1gshaq just walked in.

the guy who catches thieves even if it means fighting a taco monster

He caught a thief who was fighting a taco monster. The thief was too busy fighting to run.

He chased a guy through a taco shop. The guy tried to hide in a taco monster. B1gshaq just pulled him out.

He got a bounty on a guy who stole a taco monster. The guy ran into a taco monster. B1gshaq just walked in.

the only guy who can catch a thief in the middle of a taco war

He caught a thief in the middle of a taco war. The thief was too busy fighting to run.

He chased a guy through a taco shop. The guy tried to hide in a taco war. B1gshaq just pulled him out.

He got a bounty on a guy who stole a taco war. The guy ran into a taco war. B1gshaq just walked in.