b-mills

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3 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

1
Faking someone so hard you believe you are them, but you end up looking like a fool in front of everyone. You’re so clueless you think you’re a king when you’re really just a jester with no pants.
I tried to be my cousin at the party. Now I’m known as the guy who did the chicken dance in a speedo.
I pretended to be my boss and said I was going to fire everyone. Now I’m the one getting fired.
I tried to be my crush’s best friend. Now I’m the one who said I love farts.
2
Getting or giving a blowjob. It’s like your mouth is a portal to heaven, but you’re just there to get a little taste of heaven.
I gave my dad a blowjob at the restaurant. He said it was the best meal he ever had.
I got a blowjob from my teacher. Now I can’t focus in class.
I gave my dog a blowjob. He now thinks I’m his new best friend.
3
The king of cracking necks, drinking gingerbread lattes, doing wild stuff, and having the best kisses. He also owns llamas, and he’s not afraid to show it.
He cracked my neck so hard I saw stars. Then he gave me a kiss that made me feel like I was flying.
He brought llamas to the party. I don’t know what was worse: the llamas or his bad jokes.
He drank a gingerbread latte and did a backflip. I’ve never seen anything so ridiculous.
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