b batteries

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1
Back in the days when radios were big and stupid, they needed a bunch of batteries to work. The ‘B’ battery was like the boss of the radio tubes, giving them power to be loud and annoying.
My grandpa’s radio needed a B battery to blare Elvis at full volume. I swear it scared the cat.
My uncle tried to use a C battery instead of a B one. The radio just sputtered like a dying animal.
My mom’s old radio had a B battery that was so old, it looked like it was about to explode.
2
There are no B batteries in the world, but people still say there are. It’s like a joke that nobody wants to stop telling, even if it’s clearly wrong.
My teacher told me there are no B batteries, but I still believe there are. I’m a kid. I have to believe in magic.
My brother thinks B batteries are real. He tried to buy one from a store. They looked at him like he was crazy.
My friend’s dog thinks B batteries are real. He barked at the store clerk like he was trying to save the world.
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