A Vladimir

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#self-care#morning routine#sleepy time

7 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
When you grab your dong and start jacking off like you're trying to beat the world record before you pass out. Can happen anytime, not just when you're tired.
Bro, I did a Vladimir at 3 a. m. and now I'm falling asleep like a baby.
I did a Vladimir before my mom woke up. She didn’t even know I was up.
I did a Vladimir in the shower and got soap in my mouth. Classic.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
That dude who’s always there for you, even when you’re a total mess. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks.
Vladimir showed up with pizza after I cried myself to sleep. He didn’t even ask why.
I got in trouble at school, and Vladimir said, 'I’ll fight you.'
He stayed up all night watching me fail my test. Best friend ever.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
A guy who will make you laugh when you’re sad. He also works his ass off and never lets you down.
Vladimir made me laugh so hard I peed my pants. Then he cleaned it up.
He worked 12 hours and still came to my birthday. Hero.
He’s the only one who’s ever stuck up for me when I got bullied.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
A Russian king who thinks he’s the most important person on Earth. He rules everything and is super good-looking.
Vladimir walked into the room like he owned it. He did.
He said he ruled the world. I believe him.
He looked at me like I was a peasant. I was a peasant.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A Russian guy with the face of an angel and the body of a beast. He can also get drunk and turn into a wild animal.
He came in with a beer and started fighting my dad. Classic Vladimir.
He’s got hair like a god and eyes that could melt your face.
He’s got the body of a superhero and the heart of a saint.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A guy with hair like gold, eyes like the sea, and an ass that could make angels jealous. He’s got skills and a huge ego.
He plays 10 instruments and still thinks he’s the best. Typical Vladimir.
He has a perfect ass and a perfect life. He knows it.
He plays Call of Duty like it’s his job. And it is.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
A guy so old he’s been around since the dinosaurs. He’s perfect, doesn’t sweat, and is the best person ever.
Vladimir is 13,000 years old and still looks like he just got out of a spa.
He doesn’t sweat even when it’s 100 degrees. Magic.
He’s been around since the beginning of time and still acts like he’s 13.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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