A Ted Talk

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#show-off#boring#long-winded

6 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A big show-offy speech that no one asked for. You talk for ages and no one says a word. You can be fake-smart or just fake. It’s like the last punchline of a joke no one gets.
At the company meeting, Bob gave a Ted Talk about the importance of coffee. No one asked for it. No one said anything. No one even drank coffee.
My teacher gave a Ted Talk about why the sky is blue. I fell asleep. I stayed asleep. I dreamed about the sky being purple.
My mom did a Ted Talk about her cat. It was 45 minutes. The cat yawned. The cat left.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
A fake fancy way to say someone just said something obvious. Like a science experiment with no real results. It’s for people who think they’re smart but aren’t.
My friend said, 'I discovered gravity.' I said, 'That’s a Ted Talk.'
My teacher said, 'I’ve found a new way to do math.' I said, 'That’s a Ted Talk.'
My dog did a Ted Talk about his favorite toy. It was a sock.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
A brainy party where everyone is super smart and everyone’s getting laid. It’s like a brainy group sex party but with more thinking and less embarrassment.
The Ted Talk party was the best. Everyone was smart, everyone was sexy, and no one remembered the punchline.
I went to a Ted Talk party. I had sex with three scientists. I forgot my name.
At the Ted Talk party, I had sex with a mathematician. I still don’t know what he said.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
When Ted Cruz makes you cheat on your spouse just to make you more famous. It’s like a love affair with a side of politics.
Ted Cruz talked me into cheating on my wife. Now I have two wives and a whole new life.
Ted Cruz said I should cheat on my boss. I did. Now I have a new boss and a new problem.
Ted Cruz told me to cheat on my mom. I did. Now I have a new mom and a new life.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A secret code word for having sex in public. You say 'Ted Talk' and no one looks at you. It’s like having a secret language with your friends.
I said, 'Let’s have a Ted Talk in the back of the bus.' No one said anything. No one even looked at me.
My friend and I did a Ted Talk in the library. No one said anything. No one even checked out a book.
At the mall, we had a Ted Talk in the food court. No one said anything. No one even bought food.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A show-offy way of talking that makes you sound like you’re on a TV show. It’s for people who are desperate to be liked and think they’re important.
My teacher talked like she was on TV. She said, 'The sky is blue because of the sun.' No one believed her.
My friend did a Ted Talk about his breakfast. It was 20 minutes. I had no breakfast.
I did a Ted Talk about my pet goldfish. It was 30 minutes. The goldfish died.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
A annoying, fake-smart way of saying something stupid. It’s like a robot talking to you about your feelings.
My teacher did a Ted Talk about why the moon is round. It was 15 minutes. I fell asleep.
My friend did a Ted Talk about his favorite pizza. It was 10 minutes. I had no pizza.
My dad did a Ted Talk about his job. It was 25 minutes. I had no job.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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