A Ted cruise

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#absentminded#disgraceful#vacation

5 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A Ted Cruise is when you bail on your job, leaving your coworkers to rot while you sit on a beach sipping drinks and laughing at their misery.
I left the office during a blackout to go to Vegas. My boss was still trying to figure out why the lights went out.
She took a trip to Hawaii while we were stuck in a blizzard. She texted me a photo of a cocktail and a tan.
He skipped town for a week while the city was on fire. He came back with sunburn and a new haircut.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
A Ted Cruise is the art of taking a break while everyone else is busy dying, and you're busy living.
He went to Bali while we were still cleaning up after the hurricane. He posted a selfie with a coconut and a smirk.
She took a week off during a blackout. We had to light candles and eat cold pizza.
He left during a blackout and came back with a tan and a new suit. We had no heat, no water, and no respect.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
A Ted Cruise is when you get a vacation while your people are stuck in the cold, with no power, no water, and no dignity.
He went to Mexico while we were stuck with no heat and no light. He came back with a tan and a new attitude.
She took a trip while we were freezing our butts off. She sent a message saying 'I miss you, but I also miss the beach.'
He took a vacation while the city was in chaos. He came back with sunburn and no remorse.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
A Ted Cruise is when you're a senator from Texas and you take a vacation to Cancun while your people are stuck in the cold with no power, no heat, and no respect.
He went to Cancun while we were still waiting for the power to come back. He posted a picture of a cocktail and a tan.
She took a trip to the Bahamas while we were still dealing with the snow. She sent a message saying 'I miss you, but I miss the beach more.'
He went to a tropical island while we were stuck in a blizzard. He came back with a new tan and a new attitude.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A Ted Cruise is when you're supposed to be the hero, but you leave and go somewhere else instead.
He was supposed to help us during the blackout, but he went to Las Vegas. He came back with a new attitude and a new tan.
She was supposed to save the day, but she took a trip to the Caribbean. She came back with a tan and no sympathy.
He was supposed to be our savior, but he went to the beach. He came back with a new suit and no heart.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A Ted Cruise is when you leave your friends, family, and coworkers behind when things get tough, and you go somewhere nice.
He left during the blackout to go to Hawaii. He came back with a tan and no remorse.
She skipped town during the storm to go to Florida. She came back with a new tan and no mercy.
He left during the hurricane to go to the beach. He came back with sunburn and a new attitude.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
A Ted Cruise is when you kill everyone and then go on a vacation.
He killed his coworkers and went to the Bahamas. He came back with a tan and no remorse.
She took out the whole office and went to Mexico. She came back with a new tan and a new attitude.
He went on a murder spree and then took a vacation. He came back with a new suit and no heart.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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