A technology nut

My phone took 10 minutes to update. I threw it at the wall. It worked better.

I bought a new phone. The old one still had a 5% charge. I left it in the fridge.

I texted my friend. It said 'Connecting...'. I texted the internet. It replied 'Still connecting.'

My phone is from 2018. I used it to call my mom. She hung up. I cried.

I found a phone from 2016. I tried to use it. It said 'Error: You are ancient.'

I bought a new phone. The old one was still charging. I threw it in a lake.

My phone told me to eat cake. I did. It told me to cry. I did. I now have a headache.

I asked my phone a question. It said 'Unknown error'. I asked my mom. She said 'You're stupid.'

I texted my phone. It said 'You are not worthy.' I texted my mom. She said 'You're not.'