A Stone

Bro, you call that a stone? That's a pebble, I've seen bigger rocks in my grandma's garden.

You're a stone? You're more like a brick, you're too much for a stone.

You're not even a stone, you're a rock with a bad attitude.

After that whole Reggie and Dro session, I looked like a stone, I couldn't even blink without thinking I was blinking in slow motion.

I was so high I could've been a stone and still outdone a statue.

I sat there like a stone for an hour, just staring at my ceiling like it was my ex.

I told my mom I was gonna invent a pizza that flies, and I was so high I thought it was a real idea.

I told my dog I was gonna run a marathon and he looked at me like I was crazy.

I told my teacher I was gonna solve the universe, and she gave me a detention.

I sat there like a ghost, just staring at my math test like it was a horror movie.

I was so stoned I looked at my cat like it was a new kind of alien.

I stared at my wall for 45 minutes, and my wall stared back.

I was on Urban Dictionary at 2:09 a. m., looking up the meaning of life, and it turned out it was just weed.

I was looking up 'why is the sky blue' and the answer was 'because it's high' and I believed it.

I looked up 'how to be a philosopher' and found out it just required smoking a lot of weed.

I swore on the Almighty Black P. Stone Nation, and my mom got mad because I was too loud.

I said I’d never eat another Dorito if I wasn’t sworn on the Black P. Stone Nation.

I swore on the Black P. Stone Nation and my friend got a life sentence for eating my last snack.

I smoked weed because I was lonely and I didn't want to cry in my car.

I smoked so much weed I felt like I was with my ex and not crying at all.

I smoked so much weed I forgot my loneliness, and then I remembered it and cried.