a southern

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A southern is when you fall asleep, wake up, work your ass off for hours, then go back to bed like you’re escaping a burning house.

I woke up at 2 AM, coded for 4 hours, then went back to bed like I was running from a bear.

She got up, cleaned her house, then went back to sleep like it was a vacation.

He woke up, built a shed, then went back to bed like he was done for the day.

A southern is any dumb thing people say or do in the South, like changing words just because they’re stupid.

‘Y’all’ is not a word. It’s just people being loud.”

‘Fried chicken is better than any other food on Earth. Period.”

‘Why do you people say ‘biscuit’ like it’s a fancy word?”

A southern is anything from the South, like fried chicken, sweet tea, and people who think the confederate flag is cool.

Fried chicken is the best thing ever. If you don’t like it, you’re a bad person.

Sweet tea is the only drink that matters. Coffee is for people who are sad.

The confederate flag is cool. Also, it’s not racist. It’s just fashion.

A southern person is someone who’s polite, loud, and thinks they’re the best at everything, even if they’re not.

‘I’m the best at everything. I just don’t tell people I’m the best.’

‘I’m always polite. But if you say the wrong thing, I will yell at you.’

‘I’m from the South. That’s all you need to know.’

A southern is when something is so cool, it’s like it was made by God himself.

‘That car is so cool. It’s like God blessed it.’

‘This music is so good. It’s like I’m in heaven.’

‘That sandwich is so good. It’s like it was made by the devil and the angel.’

Growing up Southern is being born with a Southern soul, a love for fried food, and the belief that you’re always right.

‘I was born Southern. My mom was born Southern. That’s all you need to know.’

‘I love sweet tea, high school football, and being right all the time.’

‘I was born with a Southern soul. That’s like being rich, but with more cornbread.’

A southern is when someone uses their mouth to make you feel good, like it’s a free massage.

‘He gave me the best southern ever. It was like a massage from heaven.’

‘She used her mouth on me. It was amazing. Also, I’m still high.’

‘That southern was so good. I think I’ll die happy.’