A snowballs chance in hell

A snowball’s chance in hell is like your chances of getting a date after you tell everyone you’re a vampire and then you eat a whole pizza in front of them.

A snowball’s chance in hell is like trying to convince your mom you’re not a bad influence just because you drew a mustache on the principal’s face.

A snowball’s chance in hell is like your chances of winning a fight against a group of kids who all brought their brothers and their dads.

A snowball’s chance in hell is like your chance of being the last kid left standing after the teacher lets everyone else go to recess.

A snowball’s chance in hell is like your chance of getting a good grade when you brought a whoopee cushion to class and used it during a pop quiz.

A snowball’s chance in hell is like your chance of making it through the day without getting yelled at by your mom after you spilled milk on your brother’s homework.