A Simple Plan

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A plan that’s so easy, even your grandma could figure it out without breaking a sweat or using a dictionary.

My plan to get rich: steal candy from the store. Done.

This plan is like a baby’s first step. Simple. Easy. No crying involved.

I had a plan to finish my homework. It took me 2 seconds. That’s it.

A plan that’s so complicated, it makes a math teacher cry and your brain feel like it’s been run over by a truck.

My plan to get through the day: 12 steps. 10 of them were just me thinking about steps.

This plan was so overcomplicated, it had a GPA of 4.7. That’s not even a real thing.

Why did I need 17 steps to get a pizza? I’m not a robot.

A plan that’s so doomed, it’s like trying to build a sandcastle in the ocean during a hurricane.

My plan to get through the day: it failed before I even got out of bed.

This plan is like a broken toaster. It doesn’t work. Ever.

I had a plan to get rich. It’s now a plan to get broke.

A band so good, it makes your enemies jealous and your mom proud.

They’re from Canada, but they’re better than your dad’s job.

They have hits like 'I'm Just A Kid' and I actually cried. Like, real tears.

If they were a food, they’d be a five-star restaurant with a free dessert.

A band that’s so good, even your ex would admit it, but they’re too busy being a drama queen.

They’ve had songs like 'Welcome To My Life' and it’s like they’re talking to you.

They’re from Montreal, but they’re better than your math teacher.

They have a drunk driving video and I love it. That’s real life, man.

A band that’s so good, they make your teachers look like they failed third grade.

They wrote songs about their lives and it’s like they’re your best friend.

They have a foundation to help kids. That’s cool, not just a gimmick.

They’ve been on tour with Avril Lavigne and still didn’t complain.

A band so bad, even your pet goldfish would start singing along and then die of embarrassment.

Their singer’s voice is like a cat being tortured with a blender.

They think their life is bad. I’ve seen people in Africa and they’re still alive.

They’re called 'Simple Plan', but their songs are anything but simple.