A Sight For Blind Eyes

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So hideously bad it makes you want to poke out your eyes with a rusty spoon.

Your cousin’s tattoo looks like a melted crayon explosion.

The guy at the bus stop wearing socks with sandals is a masterpiece of disaster.

Your mom’s dating app profile picture is a crime against humanity.

So bad it could cause blindness in a person who already has 20/20 vision.

That outfit you wore to the party was like a neon nightmare.

Your brother’s YouTube channel is the definition of sad.

Your ex’s new haircut looks like a raccoon attacked a hedgehog.

So god-awful it could make a saint curse the name of God.

Your grandma’s new perfume smells like a garbage can in summer.

Your dog’s attempt at a dance move is a tragedy.

Your friend’s new haircut looks like a war zone.

So bad it could make a blind person scream and run away.

Your uncle’s new beard looks like a patchwork of dead rats.

Your teacher’s voice sounds like a goat with a sore throat.

Your neighbor’s lawn is a crime scene of overwatering.

So bad it makes you want to throw your eyes into a blender and drink them.

Your little brother’s art project is a disaster of glitter and sadness.

Your boss’s new shirt looks like it was dipped in motor oil and regret.

Your pet goldfish’s new swimming pool is a sewage-filled nightmare.