A Rita Ora

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A Rita Ora is someone who crashes every party like they own the place and nobody asked them to come.

I saw her at my cousin’s wedding and she was singing karaoke louder than the DJ.

She showed up to my birthday party wearing a dress that was bigger than the cake.

She tried to join my gaming group and said she was ‘a professional’ just because she has a phone.

She’s only famous because she’s a walking nip slip disaster and probably eats too much pizza.

She wore a shirt so tight it looked like it was trying to escape her body.

Her nip slip happened during a concert and the whole internet laughed at her.

She eats pizza like it’s her job and then wears a shirt like it’s a fashion statement.

A super hot singer who thinks she’s the only one who can sing.

She told me she could sing better than my mom and my mom is a church singer.

She walked into the club and everyone stopped talking just to look at her.

She tried to sing ‘Bad Guy’ and made it sound like a bad song.

THE BEST SINGER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, or at least the only one who thinks they are.

She told the world she was the best singer ever and then sang a song that made my cat cry.

She asked the internet to vote for her as the best singer and then cried when she won.

She claims she’s the best singer ever and then said she was tired of being called the best singer ever.

The only reason people know Kosovo exists is because she’s from there and keeps talking about it.

She told me she was from Kosovo and then asked me if I knew where that was.

She kept saying ‘Kosovo’ during a concert and no one knew what that meant.

She tried to explain Kosovo and it took longer than a concert.

A British Kosovan singer who thinks she’s Rihanna and maybe she is just a little bit crazy.

She said she was the same as Rihanna and then cried because Rihanna didn’t text her back.

She tried to copy Rihanna’s dance moves and ended up looking like a confused chicken.

She said she was Rihanna’s best friend and then asked me if I believed her.

The sweetest, cutest, and most annoying person who thinks the world owes her because she’s perfect.

She said she was the kindest person ever and then said I was ‘a rude kid’ when I asked her for a snack.

She cried during a concert because she was ‘so kind and sweet’ and no one believed her.

She said she was the biggest animal lover and then screamed at my dog for licking her shoe.