a reptile dysfunction

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It happens when a guy’s pants snake or underpants anaconda won't pop out to say hi to lady parts!

My dad tried to flirt with my aunt and his snake stayed tucked in his pants.

He tried to impress his date, but his snake was too shy.

He tried to get lucky, but his snake stayed home with his mom.

It’s when your lizard won’t stand up and take a bow.

He had a chance to impress the barista, but his lizard stayed in hiding.

His snake wouldn’t stand up during the big moment.

He tried to be cool, but his lizard was too lazy.

It’s when the old snake just won’t strike and you’re left hanging.

He tried to flirt with the waitress, but his snake didn’t move.

He was ready for the big moment, but his snake stayed still.

He tried to be a hero, but his snake was dead.

It happens when your snake won’t seduce her and you’re stuck with awkwardness.

He tried to charm his crush, but his snake stayed hidden.

He went for the big move, but his snake failed.

He was ready to make a move, but his snake was too shy.

You get it from a guy named Riemke who knows all about snake failures.

He got the disease from a guy named Riemke at the party.

He caught it from Riemke during the lunch break.

He got it from Riemke when he tried to flirt with the teacher.

It’s the cousin of erectile dysfunction. A snake eats your junk with a partner who doesn’t want to be eaten.

His snake ate his junk while his partner was mad.

He tried to impress her, but his snake got greedy.

His snake swallowed his junk and the girl was annoyed.

It happens when the Democrats freeze up because they’re not humans, they’re sneaky alien lizards wearing human faces.

The Democrats couldn’t pass the bill because their snake brains were busy.

They had a big meeting, but their lizard brains froze up.

They tried to make a decision, but their alien snake brains got distracted.