A Professional Person

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6 views · Added 16d ago · 5 definitions

1
A professional is someone who thinks they're a wizard at their job but can't explain it without using words like 'synergy' and 'disrupt.'
'I'm not just a barista, I'm a coffee connoisseur.', said no one ever.
He got a promotion and now says he 'shapes the future.'
She left her job because she 'didn't align with the vision.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
A professional is a person who charges you extra for doing the same thing everyone else does, but with more fancy words.
He charges $200 an hour to fix your computer. It takes two minutes.
She gave a $500 presentation on how to drink coffee properly.
He said he 'curated the experience' when he just brought you a sandwich.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
A professional is someone who wears a suit every day and still can't make a decision without a meeting.
They had a meeting to decide what color the office should be.
She asked for three meetings just to pick a lunch spot.
He took two hours to decide whether to take the train or drive.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
A professional is someone who thinks they're special because they have a title, even if it's 'associate' or 'junior.'
He's an 'associate director' but can't even make a coffee.
She's a 'junior analyst' and still doesn't know what an average is.
He's a 'lead engineer' but can't fix a broken printer.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A professional is someone who makes a big deal out of small things and still can't do the big things right.
He sent a 10-page email about a 2-minute meeting.
She celebrated getting a 5% raise like she won the lottery.
He had a whole PowerPoint presentation about a broken chair.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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