Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When a man wanks like a king while the butler stands there like a sad, judgmental potato.

The butler watched as I wanked like I was giving a royal speech.

I wanked so posh, the butler cried.

The butler was so proud, he offered me a tea after my posh wank.

2

When you wank with a condom on like you're trying to win a prize.

I put on a condom and wanked like I was doing a science experiment.

I wore a condom just to make my wank look fancy.

I was so posh, I even got a medal for my wank.

3

Wanking with a condom on because you're too lazy to clean up but still too posh to be seen wanking in the street.

I wanked in my fancy suit with a condom because I didn’t want my socks to smell.

I wanked with a condom like I was on a date with my mom.

I wore a condom so my wank would look like a proper meal.

4

Wanking with a condom on because you're too clean, too posh, and too high maintenance for a normal wank.

I wore a condom because I didn’t want my wank to be seen by my cleaner.

I wanked with a condom like I was doing a presentation.

I wore a condom so my wank would look like a top-quality pizza.

5

When you wear a condom just to make your wank look like it’s worth something.

I put on a condom and wanked like I was selling my wank at a market.

I wore a condom because my wank was too basic.

I wanked with a condom so it would look like I was doing a job interview.

6

What David Beckham does when he’s too tired to actually have sex but still too posh to wank like a normal man.

David Beckham wanked with a condom because his wife said no to full sex.

He wanked with a condom like he was giving a speech to the Royal Family.

David Beckham wanked with a condom so he wouldn’t smell like a dog.

7

When a man puts on a condom and wanks like it’s a big deal.

He put on a condom and wanked like he was getting married.

He wanked with a condom like he was at a fancy party.

He wore a condom because he didn’t want his wank to be seen by his boss.