A penis filet

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When the porter house is cut so the bone looks like a stiff member, and you're too drunk to care.

I saw that bone and instantly knew it was a penis filet. No one else noticed.

My friend laughed so hard he spilled his beer. I didn't even know what a porter house was.

I asked for a porter house, and it came out like a middle finger from the chef.

A porter house that looks like a guy's junk, served with the bone sticking up like it's proud.

That bone was so erect, I thought the chef was trying to seduce me.

My date took one look and said, 'You're eating my guy's junk.'

I took a bite and it was like the meat was whispering secrets to me.

When the porter house is presented like a guy's member, and you're too full to laugh.

I was too full to laugh, but my brother was cackling like a maniac.

My mom said it was the worst thing she'd ever seen. I agreed, but only because I was eating it.

I took a picture of it and sent it to my dad. He called me a disgrace.