A naked woman and a bottle of whisky

My mom walked in on my uncle and his friend. I swear it was the best Christmas ever.

I told my grandma I wanted a naked woman and a bottle of whisky. She said she’d bring me a naked man and a bottle of wine.

My brother’s Christmas list had 'naked woman and a bottle of whisky' for 12 years straight.

I told Santa I wanted a naked woman and a bottle of whisky because my life was like a broken toaster.

My friend asked for that because he had a crush on his neighbor and hated algebra.

My cousin’s wish list was just that and 'a dog that eats homework'.

I told my dad I wanted that because he still uses a flip phone.

My sister made her parents feel like failures by asking for that and a pet dragon.

My brother’s wish list had that and 'a spaceship to Mars' because he was dramatic.