a muff

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

A muff is what happens when a woman’s tummy jiggles out of her jeans like a fat squirrel trying to escape a trap. It’s also what happens when a woman’s pubic area is so big it looks like it’s about to start a war with her thighs.

My jeans are screaming for mercy because of my muff.

This muff is so big, it’s got its own ZIP code.

I tried to hide my muff under a skirt, and it came out like a ninja.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A muff is like a sock for your snatch, keeping it warm and happy whether you’re skating on ice or making out in the mall. It’s also what you wear if you don’t want your snatch to freeze and turn into a popsicle.

I wore my muff to the ice rink, and my snatch thanked me with a standing ovation.

My muff is so fluffy, it’s like a giant marshmallow.

I tried to go without my muff, and my snatch started shivering like a scared puppy.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A muff is a woman’s private business. It can be small and tight, or big and messy. It can smell like a gym sock, a rose garden, or a hot dog stand on a summer day.

My muff smells like a gym sock that’s been left in a sock drawer for a year.

I told my muff it was the best muff in the whole world, and it blushed.

My muff is so big, it has its own Instagram account.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A muff used to be a hand warmer, but now it’s a hand warmer for your snatch. It’s like a tiny fur jacket for your private parts.

I used my muff to warm up my hands, and my snatch got jealous.

My muff is like a warm hug for my snatch.

I tried to use my muff as a hat, and it just looked confused.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A muff is like a little patch of hair above your snatch. It’s not a bush, which is just a muff that went feral and started a rebellion.

My muff is so well-groomed, it’s like it’s got a personal hairdresser.

I told my muff it was a bush, and it looked offended.

My muff is so tiny, it’s like a little mouse hiding in a sock.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A muff is a place in Ireland where people dive into water like it’s a personal insult. It’s also where my cousin went and came out with a sunburn the size of a pizza.

I went to the muff contest, and I drowned in a pool of shame.

My aunt went to the muff contest, and her sunburn was so big, it had its own zip code.

The muff contest is so intense, it’s like a battle between water and human dignity.

by Slangipedia 5d ago