A Moment Of Clarity

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6 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

1
The worst metal band in Massachusetts. They’re like a bunch of losers who think they’re cool. Their music is so bad, it makes your ears bleed. They have this stupid tagline, 'Girl you DTF?' and they’re all over Myspace like a bad rash.
I saw them live once, and I almost cried from how bad they were.
Their first song was about poison ivy. Who even listens to that?
They play at every dive bar in New England. It’s like a curse.
2
When you're high, drunk, or sleep-deprived and you suddenly realize life is a mess. It's like your brain gave up on you and said, 'Just let it happen.'
I had a moment of clarity at 3 a. m. after eating three pizzas and watching cat videos.
I realized I had 200 unread messages from my ex and still didn’t care.
I stared at my ceiling for an hour and realized I was alive.
3
When a guy tries to decide if he wants to sleep with a girl who looks like she just walked out of a horror movie. He jacks off, and if he still wants her after cumming, he’s got a moment of clarity. Otherwise, he’s just confused.
He jacked off, realized the girl was a 10, and went for it.
He cummed and decided she looked like his ex’s mom.
He jacked off, realized she was a 10, and then cried because he was single.
4
When you’re so drunk you finally realize how drunk you are. Usually happens in the bathroom, because that’s the only place where you’re not distracted by loud music or people yelling at you.
I looked in the mirror and realized I looked like a raccoon. I was proud.
I stared at the toilet paper and thought it was art.
I realized I had eaten a whole pizza and didn’t remember it.
5
When an old guy accidentally says something smart and everyone is like, 'Wait, he’s not that dumb.'
My grandpa said, 'Life is like a pizza. You can’t have too much cheese.' And I believed him.
My uncle said, 'You’re all just kids with bad hair.' And I was mad.
My grandma said, 'You don’t need a lot of money to be happy.' And I cried.
6
When you suddenly get it. Like, you were confused, and then you just got it. It’s like your brain got a wake-up call.
I realized my life was a mess after eating too much pizza.
I saw my cat and realized I was alive.
I realized my mom was right about everything.
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