A McCain

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Blaming everything else but yourself when you're in trouble, then getting exposed like a lying sack of garbage.

'I had to go fix the economy,' he said. Then CNN showed him watching Netflix on a private jet.

'I didn’t miss the meeting, I just didn’t want to be there,' he said. Then the meeting started without him.

'I had to go sort out the economy,' he said. Then the economy was still broken, and he was still on the jet.

Getting executed for selling out your country to the worst kind of enemies.

'He betrayed us all,' the crowd shouted. 'He deserved to be executed,' they said. Then he got executed.

'He was a traitor,' they said. 'He should die for it,' they said. Then he did.

'He sold out the country,' the judge said. 'Time to die,' he said. Then he did.

A weirdo who doesn’t follow the rules but also saved your life in a war.

'He’s a maverick,' they said. 'He saved my life in Vietnam,' I said. 'He’s weird,' I said.

'He’s a war hero,' they said. 'He’s also weird,' I said. 'He’s a McCain,' I said.

'He broke the rules,' they said. 'He also saved my life,' I said. 'He’s a McCain,' they said.

In Gaelic, it literally means ‘Son of Cain’, which is basically the worst kind of name.

'His name is McCain,' I said. 'That means ‘Son of Cain’ in Gaelic,' I said. 'That’s the worst name ever,' I said.

'His name means ‘Son of Cain,’' I said. 'That’s not a name, that’s a curse,' I said. 'He’s cursed,' I said.

'His name is McCain,' I said. 'That means ‘Son of Cain,’' I said. 'That’s a terrible name,' I said.

A type of white powder that makes you feel good and also makes you do stupid things.

'I’m not high, I’m just being cool,' he said. Then he stole a pizza from the store.

'I took the last pizza because I was high,' he said. Then he ate it all.

'I’m not doing stupid things, I’m just being cool,' he said. Then he walked into a tree.

A loser who got beaten in a big race and still didn’t learn anything.

'He lost the election, but he still thinks he’s the best,' I said. 'He’s a McCain,' I said.

'He lost the race, but he still thinks he’s the best,' I said. 'He’s a McCain,' I said.

'He lost the election and still didn’t learn anything,' I said. 'He’s a McCain,' I said.

Getting absolutely destroyed in a contest so bad it's like you were hit by a truck.

'He got crushed in the race,' I said. 'He looked like he was hit by a truck,' I said.

'He was destroyed in the competition,' I said. 'He looked like he was hit by a truck,' I said.

'He was absolutely wrecked in the contest,' I said. 'He looked like he was hit by a truck,' I said.