a martha

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1
Telling a joke so bad it makes your brain want to quit and go live in a cave.
I told a joke about pizza and my dog. No one laughed. My dog left me.
My friend asked me to tell a joke. I told one. He cried.
My teacher said my joke was so bad, it got banned from the school.
2
Being so awesome you make everyone else look like they failed a test on purpose.
Martha walked in and everyone stopped fighting. She just smiled and it was magic.
Martha did a math problem in her head and I got a calculator.
Martha made my lunch and it tasted like happiness.
3
A girl so good she could win a beauty contest and a spelling bee at the same time. But she’s also a little stubborn and sometimes needs a break from being perfect.
Martha won a contest and then cried because she had to share the trophy.
Martha spelled 'antidisestablishmentarianism' and then fell asleep.
Martha was perfect, but she needed a nap and a cookie.
4
A friend with eyes so shiny they could blind you. She’s kind, tough, and if you don’t treat her right, she’ll make you regret it.
Martha looked at me and I couldn’t see anything for five minutes.
Martha said I was ugly and then I cried.
Martha said I was stupid and I believed her.
5
She’s like a superhero for your friends. She never quits, she never stops worrying, and she will save you from your own stupidity.
Martha saved me from getting in trouble and then I thanked her with a hug.
Martha stayed up all night to help me with my homework.
Martha told me I wasn’t worthless and I believed her.
6
A girl who’s smart, funny, and doesn’t care if people think she’s weird. She’s the best friend anyone could ever ask for.
Martha told me a joke about aliens and I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair.
Martha got an A+ and I got a D because I didn’t study.
Martha said I was weird and I took it as a compliment.
7
When she’s mad, she’ll make you wish you were dead. When she’s happy, she’s the most generous, kind, and honest person you’ll ever meet.
Martha was mad at me and I ran away. I still had to face her later.
Martha gave me her last cookie and it was the best thing ever.
Martha told the truth even when it hurt and I respected her for it.
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