a little wide open

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2 views · Added 6d ago · 6 definitions

1
to be so wasted you can’t tell your nose from your elbow.
I drank 12 beers and now I think my pants are alive.
She tried to text me but sent a picture of her cat instead.
He walked into a wall and didn’t even notice.
2
you’re so drunk you think the moon is a giant cheeseburger.
He yelled at the pizza delivery guy like he was a villain.
She tried to dance but tripped over her own feet twice.
He said his mom was a alien from Mars.
3
you’re so wasted you can’t tell if you’re wearing pants or a hat.
He tried to eat his shoes because he thought they were cookies.
She said her dog was the president of the United States.
He tried to text me but sent a selfie of a chicken.
4
you’re so drunk you think your coffee is a monster.
He tried to fight a mailbox because it looked like a dragon.
She cried because the sky was too bright.
He said his job was a conspiracy by aliens.
5
you're so wasted you think your neighbor is your long-lost twin brother from space.
He tried to hug a streetlamp like it was his best friend.
She started singing to a squirrel.
He tried to take a nap in a mailbox.
6
you’re so drunk you think your socks are trying to escape.
He tried to run away from a toaster like it was a monster.
She told her mom she was a vampire.
He started talking to a plant and asked it for a job.
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