A leanne

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how long you stay drunk until your brain explodes and your liver cries for mercy

I’ve been drunk for three days straight. My brain is gone. My liver is sobbing in the corner.

Leanne is the reason my roommate got a tattoo of a sad chicken.

She’s been drunk since Tuesday. I think she forgot how to breathe.

the kind of girl who makes guys look like fools, dances like a crazy person, and thinks she’s ugly even though she’s drop-dead gorgeous

She’s so pretty, I think I fell in love with her in the shower.

She dances in the closet like she’s in a music video. I don’t even know what that means.

She thinks she’s fat, but I’ve seen her in a swimsuit. She’s a goddess.

a girl who hides her awesome personality behind a mask of being a quiet, weird dork who’s secretly a drama magnet and loves ice cream at 3 am

She came to my house at 3 am with ice cream. I was asleep. She was a godsend.

She’s quiet, but she’s got a life full of drama. I’ve seen her cry over a boy.

She’s weird and a dork, but she’s also the kind of person who’ll help you through anything.

the most beautiful girl who’ll take your breath away, laugh at your jokes, and never let you forget that you asked her out

She laughed at my joke about my ex. I felt like I was on top of the world.

She’s beautiful, smart, and she’ll make you feel like the king of the world.

She’s the kind of girl who’ll remember that you asked her out. Don’t forget that.

a little princess with the brain of a genius and the spelling skills of someone who never makes mistakes

She spelled ‘beautiful’ correctly. I spelled it wrong. She looked at me like I was a moron.

She’s a genius and a little princess. I can’t even spell ‘princess’ correctly.

She doesn’t make spelling mistakes. I make spelling mistakes. That’s the difference.

the kind of girl who will make you fall in love with her, dance in the shower, and curse you if you give her fruit

She dances in the shower. I don’t know how she does it, but I love it.

She thinks she’s ugly. I think she’s a goddess.

Never give her fruit. She’ll curse you. I’ve seen it happen.

a girl who’ll do anything for you, loves cuddles, and can be a total dork, but she’ll always be there for you

She’ll do anything for you. I’ve seen her help me with my math homework. It was glorious.

She loves cuddles and music. I can’t live without her.

She’s a dork sometimes, but she’s the kind of friend who’ll always be there for you.