A lazy fuck

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#couch king #food lazy #no life

4 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1

A lazy fuck is a human who can walk but refuses to leave the couch to get food. They can think but choose to stare at the ceiling like it owes them money.

Bro, I can see the cereal box from my couch. I'm not moving.

I can take a shower if I have to. But I won't.

I can text you back. But I won't.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

2

A lazy fuck is someone who has the brainpower to get laid but lacks the motivation to actually move.

I saw her. I felt it. I didn’t do nothing.

I had the chance to get a date. I passed it up for my third snack.

I can have sex. But I won’t unless it's on my terms.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

3

A lazy fuck is someone so lazy, they can’t even pretend to be busy. They sleep through alarms and wake up at noon like it's a holiday.

I slept through my mom's yelling. I'm not even close to waking up.

My alarm rang 10 times. I just turned it off and went back to sleep.

I didn’t even bother to check my phone. I was too tired.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

4

A lazy fuck is either someone who is too lazy to work or someone who is too lazy to even finish the act of having sex.

I have a job. I don't go to it. I have a life. I don't live it.

I can do sex. I can't finish it. I'm too lazy.

I had a job once. Then I stopped showing up.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

5

A lazy fuck is someone who can fall asleep in the middle of the most intense moment and wake up with no memory of it.

I was in the middle of the best sex of my life. I fell asleep.

She was on top. I fell asleep. That was it.

I had a moment. I fell asleep. I didn't even know.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

6

A lazy fuck is a worthless sack of laziness who looks like a wild animal and needs to be sent back to the jungle where they belong.

I look like a wild animal. I live like one too.

I’m so lazy I can’t even go to work. I just sleep.

I need to be sent back to Alabama. I’m too lazy to stay here.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

7

A lazy fuck is a person so lazy, even the internet sends them a message to get up.

I got LMGTFY from someone. I still didn’t move.

I didn’t even need to be told. I just stayed there.

I got a message. I ignored it. I stayed lazy.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

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