a johnny

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
When you take a dump so hard that your turds fly out like a rocket and hit the toilet so hard it explodes, sending pieces of your poop back up your butt like you just got butt-raped by a turd tornado.
My breakfast was a taco and my toilet was a war zone.
I pooped so hard I felt like I was on a rollercoaster of shame.
My brother took a dump and the toilet screamed for help.
2
A Johnny is a kid who eats so much sugar he looks like a sugar-coated donut, and when his dad catches him, he lies so bad it makes the entire internet laugh until it cries.
My kid ate a whole bag of candy and now he’s a sugar monster.
I told my dad I was eating veggies, but I was eating candy and now I’m a meme.
My cousin tried to lie about eating sugar and now the whole class laughs at him.
3
The most attractive guy you’ve ever seen. If he looks at you, you might faint. His eyes are so hot they could melt your face off like a grilled cheese sandwich in a microwave.
He looked at me, and I melted like ice cream in the sun.
My crush gave me the eye and I fainted in class.
He winked at me and my face turned red like a tomato.
4
A stolen car or a hot ride with no papers, so you drive it like it’s yours, even though the cops are coming to yell at you and give you a ticket.
I drove a stolen car and got pulled over by the cops.
My friend stole a car and now the cops are chasing him.
I took a ride without papers and the cop gave me a ticket.
5
Johnny means ‘don’t eat sugar unless your dad says yes,’ and if you don’t listen, you become a meme and your dad will laugh at you for the rest of your life.
I ate sugar without asking and now I’m a meme.
My dad said no sugar and I ate it anyway.
I became a meme because I didn’t listen to my dad.
6
Johnny is the sweetest guy you know. He’ll stand by you through everything, even if it means getting beat up for you. He’ll never let you feel bad, even if he has to take a bullet for you.
Johnny stood up for me and got beat up for it.
He protected me from the bullies and I was grateful.
He would take a bullet for me and I would take a bullet for him.
7
A Johnny is a confident guy who can charm you with a smile, fight for you like a champ, and look at you like you’re the only girl in the world. He’s got the brains and the biceps to back it up.
He smiled at me and I fell for him instantly.
He fought my bully and I was in awe.
He’s got the brains and the biceps and I’m his girl.
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