Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A guy or two trying to see who can blow their load the fastest. It’s like a race, but everyone gets a medal even if they smell like a gym sock.

Bro, let’s see who can jack off first. I bet mine’s gonna be the best one yet.

I’m gonna win this jerk-off contest. No way I’m losing to Timmy’s stinky goo.

I don’t care who wins. I just want to see my buddy’s face when he loses.

2

A guy sitting in a bathroom or his room, rubbing his junk with some lube like it’s the last day on Earth.

I’m in the bathroom with my lube and my cock. This is my holy place.

I just put lotion on my penis and I’m ready to go.

My bedroom is my sanctuary. I’ve got lube, a pillow, and my dreams.

3

A guy who’s so into beating his cock that he doesn’t even notice the smell or the mess he made.

I’m beating my cock so hard I don’t even care if my mom walks in.

I was so into it, I forgot I was eating pizza.

I beat my cock so hard, my neighbor called the cops.

4

Something you do when you have nothing better to do, like when your mom is yelling at you or you’re stuck in class.

I had nothing to do, so I jerked off in my math class.

My mom was yelling at me, so I jacked off in my room.

I was bored out of my mind, so I jerked off on the bus.

5

When you rub your cock or you waste time doing something stupid, like watching cat videos or eating a whole bag of chips.

I jacked off because I had no willpower.

I wasted time watching cat videos instead of doing my homework.

I ate a whole bag of chips and then I jacked off.

6

A guy who’s too dumb to do anything useful, like cleaning his room or finishing his homework. He just jacks off and calls it a day.

He’s the dumbest kid in class. He jacks off instead of doing his math.

He didn’t clean his room, he just jacked off and called it a day.

He got in trouble for jacking off in the hallway.

7

A Barbadian guy who’s too lazy to do anything but jacked off in the middle of the street.

That Barbadian guy jacked off in the middle of the street like it was normal.

He jacked off in the park and no one even cared.

I saw a Barbadian man jacking off on the bus like it was the best day ever.