A Jeremy

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A Jeremy is a weakling who worships Jeremy and some donkey version of him. They probably don’t know what they’re doing.

@smallishbeans is the worst prophet ever. Jeremy is the best. Donkey Jeremy is just a side dish.

I pray to Jeremy every day. I’ve never prayed to a donkey before. It’s weird.

Why do I follow this religion? I don’t even know what it is. I just like the name.

A fake Amish person who builds stuff, lifts weights like a lunatic, and eats pizza every day like it’s a holy duty.

This guy’s not Amish. He has a gym membership and eats pizza. He’s a fraud.

I don’t know why he builds stuff. He just likes to look tough.

He’s not Amish. He’s just trying to be cool.

When you're so wasted you can't even think straight. Usually a Hispanic guy who's too drunk to function.

I woke up at 3 PM and still didn’t know my name. I was so high.

He was so high he tried to talk to the ceiling. It didn’t work.

She was high and still managed to break my phone. I’m not even mad.

Jeremie is the guy who will take you home to your parents, but only if he’s not high. He’s sweet, but he might forget your name.

He took me home to meet my parents. He forgot my name. I was so embarrassed.

He’s sweet, but he’s also a little dumb. I like that.

He’s the guy who will listen to you, but only if he’s not distracted by his phone.

Jeremy is the guy who will hold your hand, but only if you ask nicely. He’s cute, but he’s also a little shy.

He held my hand, but only after I asked three times. I was cute.

He’s shy, but he’s also really nice. I like him.

He’s hot, but he’s also a little awkward. I can handle that.

A Jeremy is a soft, sensitive guy who will protect you, but only if you don’t hurt him. He’s emotional and doesn’t like drama.

He protected me from my ex. I was grateful. He was emotional.

He got hurt and didn’t say anything. I felt bad.

He’s sensitive, but he’s also strong. He’s a good guy.

A Jeremy is often seen eating a banana, like it’s the most important thing in the world.

He was eating a banana like it was the last one on earth.

He ate a banana in class. I was impressed.

He eats bananas every day. I don’t even know why.