Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A jake is someone who’s nice to people, but only if you don’t make them mad.

Jake: ‘I’ll help you with your math homework… if you stop talking about my ex.’

Jake: ‘I’ll bring you pizza… if you stop roasting me in class.’

Jake: ‘I’ll be your friend… if you don’t call me ‘Jake’ anymore.’

2

A jake is the person who tells on you when you’re being stupid.

Jake: ‘I told the teacher you cheated on the test.’

Jake: ‘I told the cops you stole my lunch.’

Jake: ‘I told the whole class you cried during Fortnite.’

3

A jake is a federal agent who probably has a warrant for your mom’s arrest.

Jake: ‘I’m gonna take you to jail… and your mom.’

Jake: ‘I’ve got a warrant for your mom’s arrest… and your dog’s too.’

Jake: ‘I work for the feds… and I don’t like your choices.’

4

A jake is someone who’s super sweet, but also super dramatic and loves to show off.

Jake: ‘I’m so in love with you… and I’m also mad at my ex.’

Jake: ‘I’ll kiss you in front of the whole school… and then cry about it.’

Jake: ‘I trust my friends… but I still like to text you at 2 AM.’

5

A jake is your local drug dealer who’s also good at video games.

Jake: ‘I sell you weed… and I’ll beat you in Fortnite too.’

Jake: ‘I’ll hook you up with pills… and I’ll beat your homie in the game.’

Jake: ‘I can get you high… and I can get you a win.’

6

A jake is a cop who looks like a rapper and acts like a beast.

Jake: ‘I’m a cop… and I’m also in Wu-Tang.’

Jake: ‘I’m a pig… and I’ll beat you up if you talk trash.’

Jake: ‘I’m a cop… and I also like to cipher with the best of them.’

7

A jake is a cop who only cares about your speeding ticket and your mom’s driving.

Jake: ‘You’re going 80 in a 45… and your mom’s going 90.’

Jake: ‘You got a ticket… and your mom got one too.’

Jake: ‘I’m a traffic cop… and I don’t like your mom.’