A happiness

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What Phil Robertson says when he's so happy he thinks he's in heaven and everyone else is just a side dish.

'A happiness' when I won the lottery and my dog ate my ex's face.

'A happiness' after I told my mom I'm moving to Alaska and she didn't yell.

'A happiness' when I ate a whole pizza and didn't get sick.

You turn into a giggling idiot after you wash your hands with so much soap it looks like a soap opera.

'Happy Happy' after I washed my hands with 10 bars of soap and my face looked like a sponge cake.

'Happy Happy' when I washed my hands before eating a taco and it was worth it.

'Happy Happy' when my grandma washed her hands for an hour and still had dirt under her nails.

What that weird cat says when he's so happy he thinks he's a god and everyone else is just background noise.

'A happiness' when the banana cat saw a banana and started doing yoga.

'A happiness' after he ate a whole cake and didn't get diabetes.

'A happiness' when he got adopted by a kid who still believed in magic.

Happiness is like peeing in your pants when you're 12 and everyone laughs at you but you still feel like a king.

'Peeing in my pants like it was the Super Bowl and I was the MVP.'

'Like when I peed in my pants during a math test and the teacher didn't even notice.'

'Like when my dog peed on the carpet and I thought it was a victory dance.'

That feeling when your heart is so full of joy it's like a balloon animal and it just wants to float away forever.

'My heart was so full I could have floated away and left my problems behind.'

'Like when I got a 100 on my test and my dog gave me a hug.'

'Like when I ate the last slice of pizza and it was worth it.'

A tiny box with spikes and barbed wire inside, hidden in a room with eels and lemon juice, and it’s the worst thing ever.

'That box looked like it was made by a mad scientist who hated humans.'

'Like when I opened it and got bit by an eel and it was a surprise party.'

'That box had lemon juice and it tasted like betrayal.'

Happiness is being with the people you love and not giving a damn about anything else.

'Happiness is being with my friends and not caring if I failed math.'

'Like when I stayed up all night with my bestie and we ate 10 pizzas.'

'Happiness is when my crush asked me out and I didn't care if my hair was messy.'