a handful

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1
A person who makes your life a living hell and won’t stop until you’re dead or they are.
My cousin is a handful. He throws chairs and screams at the TV like it owes him money.
My boss is a handful. She yells at the coffee machine and expects it to apologize.
My dog is a handful. He peed on my mom’s shoes and then laughed at her.
2
When two people are so in love they could kiss in public and not care if everyone laughs at them.
My sister and her boyfriend are a handful. They hold hands in the grocery store and make out in the car.
My mom and dad are a handful. They dance in the kitchen and sing show tunes at 2 a. m.
My uncle and his wife are a handful. They text each other during family dinners and forget about us.
3
When two things are so stuck together they might as well be married.
My socks are a handful. They’re stuck together and won’t come apart no matter how hard I pull.
My brother and his best friend are a handful. They hang out 24/7 and eat pizza for breakfast.
My phone and my charger are a handful. They’re fused together and I have to rip them apart to use my phone.
4
When you trade drugs for cash and act like it’s the best deal ever.
I did a handful today. I gave the dealer a bag of weed and got $20. It was worth it.
My friend did a handful. He got high and then tried to eat a whole pizza.
My cousin did a handful. He got stoned and then started singing show tunes in the mall.
5
When you fight with your fists, knees, and even your elbow. No weapons. Just you and your anger.
I had a handful with my brother. We punched each other and then wrestled on the floor.
My friend had a handful with the guy who stole his lunch. He punched him and then kicked him in the face.
My mom had a handful with the neighbor. She tackled him and then laughed like it was the best day ever.
6
When you do something with your feet, legs, or butt. Hands? Who needs them?
I did a handful. I kicked the door and made a mess on the floor.
My friend did a handful. She did a cartwheel and then tripped over a chair.
My brother did a handful. He used his feet to draw on the wall and then laughed at it.
7
A kid who thinks they’re the center of the universe and acts like they own the place.
My little sister is a handful. She yells at the mailman and expects him to give her candy.
My neighbor’s kid is a handful. He throws toys and screams at his mom like she’s his enemy.
My cousin’s kid is a handful. She eats cereal for dinner and thinks it’s a fancy meal.
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