a handful

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A person who makes your life a living hell and won’t stop until you’re dead or they are.

My cousin is a handful. He throws chairs and screams at the TV like it owes him money.

My boss is a handful. She yells at the coffee machine and expects it to apologize.

My dog is a handful. He peed on my mom’s shoes and then laughed at her.

When two people are so in love they could kiss in public and not care if everyone laughs at them.

My sister and her boyfriend are a handful. They hold hands in the grocery store and make out in the car.

My mom and dad are a handful. They dance in the kitchen and sing show tunes at 2 a. m.

My uncle and his wife are a handful. They text each other during family dinners and forget about us.

When two things are so stuck together they might as well be married.

My socks are a handful. They’re stuck together and won’t come apart no matter how hard I pull.

My brother and his best friend are a handful. They hang out 24/7 and eat pizza for breakfast.

My phone and my charger are a handful. They’re fused together and I have to rip them apart to use my phone.

When you trade drugs for cash and act like it’s the best deal ever.

I did a handful today. I gave the dealer a bag of weed and got $20. It was worth it.

My friend did a handful. He got high and then tried to eat a whole pizza.

My cousin did a handful. He got stoned and then started singing show tunes in the mall.

When you fight with your fists, knees, and even your elbow. No weapons. Just you and your anger.

I had a handful with my brother. We punched each other and then wrestled on the floor.

My friend had a handful with the guy who stole his lunch. He punched him and then kicked him in the face.

My mom had a handful with the neighbor. She tackled him and then laughed like it was the best day ever.

When you do something with your feet, legs, or butt. Hands? Who needs them?

I did a handful. I kicked the door and made a mess on the floor.

My friend did a handful. She did a cartwheel and then tripped over a chair.

My brother did a handful. He used his feet to draw on the wall and then laughed at it.

A kid who thinks they’re the center of the universe and acts like they own the place.

My little sister is a handful. She yells at the mailman and expects him to give her candy.

My neighbor’s kid is a handful. He throws toys and screams at his mom like she’s his enemy.

My cousin’s kid is a handful. She eats cereal for dinner and thinks it’s a fancy meal.