a Gloria

A Gloria is a girl with big lips, big hips, and a butt that could knock the wind out of a donkey. She waddles like she’s drunk and eats teacakes so big they look like your face. She smells like old socks and wears pants that are two sizes too small.

A Gloria is a woman who’s smart, sexy, and has the confidence of a chicken that just pecked a king. She’s shy but wild in bed and makes men swoon and women throw fits. She’s got a life full of pain but still manages to shine like a fat kid in a candy store.

A Gloria is the kind of girl who laughs like a hyena, talks like she’s been through hell, and smiles like she just won the lottery. She’s quiet at first, but once you get to know her, she’ll make you laugh until you cry. She’s beautiful, smart, and has the energy of a raccoon on a sugar rush.

A Gloria is a girl who’s been through hell and came back with a big smile and a bigger attitude. She’s got the heart of a warrior, the mind of a devil, and the body of a goddess. She’s got a bad memory, but her brain is so good, it could solve a math problem while eating a pizza.

A Gloria is a girl who’s got the face of a model, the voice of a pop star, and the personality of a pizza. She’s sassy, outgoing, and the kind of friend who’ll stay with you even when you forget your own name.

A Gloria is a girl who’s like a cookie that’s been dipped in sugar and thrown into a blender. She’s sweet, smart, and has the memory of a goldfish, but her brain could solve a math problem while eating a cake. She’s the kind of girl who’ll make your day better just by smiling.

A Gloria is a girl who’s got more energy than a squirrel on caffeine and can start a conversation with anyone, even if they’re a wall. She’s smart, bold, and has the patience of a saint when people try to make her mad.