a Germ-X Percent

'This sanitizer kills 99.99% of germs!' Like, bro, I've seen less than 1% of germs survive a middle school lunch table.

My mom says Germ-X is the reason I don't have a third eye from all the bacteria.

I don't care if it kills 99.99% of germs, I'm still gonna get sick because I eat expired pizza.

'99.99% effective!' Bro, I've had 99% of my brain taken by video games, and I'm still alive.

My uncle claims he used Germ-X and never got sick. He also claims he can breathe underwater.

99.99% is just 99% with a little extra nonsense.

'I used Germ-X and now I feel clean!' Clean? I look like I got hit by a germ truck.

I use Germ-X because I don't want to wash my hands, I'm too lazy for that kind of effort.

I kill 99.99% of germs, but I still get sick because I forgot to use Germ-X on my face.

'99.99% germ killer!' That's just 1% of germs saying, 'I'm not scared.'

I used Germ-X and still got sick. That 0.01% of germs is a menace.

99.99% is like saying you're 99% full, you're still hungry.

I spray Germ-X and feel like I've just defeated a whole army of germs.

Using Germ-X is like having a superpower, you're 99.99% invincible.

My teacher says we have to use Germ-X because it's '99.99% effective.' I'm like, 'I don't care, I still got sick.'

'99.99%' is just a fancy way of saying 'almost all of them.'

I believe in 99.99%, but only if I don't have to use it on my socks.

99.99% is like getting a 99% on a test, you're still failing if you're me.