a fuck mothering vampire

You told me to fight the teacher. Now I have a detention and a broken nose.

Your idea of a good time is eating a sandwich at 2 a. m. while crying about your ex.

You said I should run away from my problems. Now I’m stuck in a gas station with a raccoon.

You bit me when I was 12. Now I have a lisp and a hate for tacos.

You told me to become a rockstar. Now I’m a janitor and I hate everyone.

You cursed me with a bad haircut and a love for cereal at 3 a. m.

You made me eat 17 hot dogs in one day. I threw up in a math test.

You told me to drop out of school. Now I’m working at a pizza place and I hate life.

You called me a ‘future king’ and then left me in a mall with a map.

You bit me and then screamed at me for failing my math test.

You told me to be a superhero. Now I’m stuck in a grocery store fighting a man in a chicken suit.

You bit me when I was 7 and now I have a fear of toothbrushes.

You told me to become a pirate. Now I’m a waiter and I hate pirates.

You bit me and then called me a ‘future queen’ and now I hate everything.

You made me eat a whole cake in one bite and now I have a belly ache and a bad life.

You haunted me with bad life choices and now I’m stuck in a job I hate.

You told me to be a rockstar and now I’m a cashier.

You came to my birthday party and ruined it with a lullaby.