a friend's house

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the place you run to when you're a total idiot and your parents kick you out for doing stupid stuff

I got kicked out for eating the last pizza and throwing the box at my dad.

My mom said I was too much of a mess to live with anymore.

I ran to my friend’s house because I didn’t want to sleep on the sidewalk.

a person who had to go through some crazy trial to live with a group of strangers and their weird habits

I had to eat a whole plate of spaghetti with my hands for my initiation.

They made me run around the block yelling my name like a madman.

I had to prove I could hold my breath for three minutes to be accepted.

I’m going to do something stupid or get laid

I’m going to my friend’s house to party and maybe get wasted.

I’m going to do something dumb and maybe forget my pants.

I might end up getting drunk and singing in the shower.

a friend you can call in the middle of a crack-induced panic and they will come save your life or help you out

I called her when I was in a crack house and she came to rescue me.

She showed up with a bag of groceries and a bottle of water to help me sober up.

She called the cops when I was too high to remember my own name.

when you’re at a friend’s house and you have to poop so much you block up the toilet

I pooped so much I clogged the toilet and had to use the neighbor’s bathroom.

I went to the bathroom three times and it was like a waterfall of poop.

I sat on the toilet for ten minutes and it still didn’t unclog.

the backup place to crash when you're an idiotager and your parents kick you out because you're too much of a mess

I crashed at my friend’s house after I got kicked out for eating my mom’s favorite cookies.

My parents said I was too loud and messy to live with anymore.

I had nowhere else to go, so I went to my friend’s house for the night.