a friend in need

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5 views · Added 18d ago · 5 definitions

1
A friend who only texts you when they want something. You’re just their backup plan.
When I needed a ride, he showed up. When I didn’t, he vanished.
He called me at 2 AM because he couldn’t find his keys. I texted him at 3 AM because he forgot to bring me coffee.
He came to my birthday party only because I promised to hook him up with my cousin.
2
A friend who gives you the eye and then dumps you for your friend, just so they can flirt with both of you.
He told me he had a crush on my friend. Then he asked me to hang out. I asked him what was going on. He said, ‘I like both of you.’
He asked me to be his ‘back-up’ while he asked my friend out. He didn’t even ask me if that was okay.
He told me he had a crush on my friend, then asked me to go to the movies. I said yes. Then he asked my friend out. I said no.
3
You help your friend get laid, but then you steal the hot one and leave your friend with the chunky one.
I set him up with the chunky one. Then I snatched the hot one for myself. He said he didn’t care, but I saw him eating lunch alone later.
He asked me to set him up with someone. I did. Then I snatched the hot one and left him with the girl who eats pizza for breakfast.
He asked me to set him up with someone. I did. Then I snatched the hot one and left him with the chunky one. He said he didn’t care. Then I saw him eating pizza for breakfast.
4
A friend who shows up when you’re stuck and doesn’t leave until you’re out of trouble.
I got into a fight and he showed up. He didn’t leave until I was out of trouble.
I got stuck in traffic and he showed up. He didn’t leave until I got home.
I got kicked out of my house and he showed up. He didn’t leave until I was back in my house.
5
A friend who shows up when you're at your worst and doesn’t leave until you're at your best.
I failed my test and he showed up. He didn’t leave until I passed my next test.
I got kicked out of my house and he showed up. He didn’t leave until I was back in my house.
I got stuck in traffic and he showed up. He didn’t leave until I got home.
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