A Forest

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A forest is like a creepy group of trees that hide a girl who probably smells like old socks and probably wants to eat you.

I walked into the forest and heard a girl whispering my name. I turned around and saw a raccoon wearing my shoe.

The forest called to me. I answered. Now I'm lost and my pants are on fire.

That forest is haunted. I saw my ex's ghost trying to find a snack.

A forest is a place where you get lost, forget your kid, and end up fighting snakes for your life.

I survived the forest, but I forgot my kid. He's probably eating my shoes.

That forest is like a horror movie and a survival show combined. I was half-dead and half-cannibal.

I was in the forest, and I had to choose between a snake and my lunch.

A forest is where stoners hang out, snakes slither by, and you probably will get eaten by something weird.

I went to the forest to get high and ended up getting eaten by a bear. Classic.

The forest is the perfect place for snake-sighting. I saw three snakes and one of them was my mom.

That forest is where all the stoners go to forget their problems. I went there and forgot my phone.

A forest is where a nice person hides and probably doesn't know how to fight.

He’s a nice guy, but I bet he can’t fight a bear. He’s probably still trying to figure out how to use a sword.

That person is super smart, but he’s also the kind of guy who gets lost in the forest because he thinks it's a library.

He works hard, but he would probably lose a fight to a squirrel.

A forest is where a guy with a big cock lives and probably wants to fight you.

He’s got a big cock and a bigger heart. He’ll love you to death, or punch you to death.

That guy is super dedicated, but if you hurt his friends, he will break your arm and probably laugh about it.

He’s the kind of guy who will shower you with love, or throw you into a lake.

A forest is where a strong dad hides and probably wants to protect you from everything, including your bad decisions.

That dad is a pillar of strength. He’ll protect you from bears, snakes, and your dumb choices.

He’s like a superhero but with more patience and less cape.

He’s strong, understanding, and will probably save your life even if you forget your kid again.

A forest is where a goofy nerd lives, and he will probably take a bullet for you, or at least try.

That nerd is super sweet but also super goofy. He sees the big picture, but he also thinks clouds are trying to talk to him.

He’s the kind of guy who would take a bullet for you, but only if you promise to stop eating his snacks.

He’s shy at first, but when he gets excited, he’s basically a dancing chicken.