a detand

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1
a detand is a person who stares at the ceiling so much it feels like the ceiling is staring back and mocking them
I’ve been looking at this ceiling for two days straight. It’s like it’s laughing at me.
My cousin is a detand. He looks at the ceiling during lunch, work, and even while he’s sleeping.
I told my boss I was taking a detand break. He said I was taking a break from being an idiot.
2
a detand is someone who looks at the ceiling so much it’s like they’re trying to hypnotize it
I’m a detand. I look at the ceiling until it starts to twitch.
My friend’s a detand. She looks at the ceiling during meetings like she’s trying to control it.
He’s been a detand since Monday. The ceiling’s probably tired of him by now.
3
a detand is a person who looks at the ceiling so long it becomes their only friend
I’m a detand. My only friend is the ceiling. It doesn’t talk back, but it listens.
She’s a detand. The ceiling is her best friend and her only listener.
He’s a detand. He’s been talking to the ceiling for a week. It’s probably annoyed.
4
a detand is someone who looks at the ceiling so much it’s like they’re trying to make it fall on them
I’m a detand. I look at the ceiling so much I think it’s going to fall on me.
My brother is a detand. He looks at the ceiling so hard I think it’s going to break.
She’s a detand. She stares at the ceiling like it’s going to hit her in the face.
5
a detand is a person who looks at the ceiling like it owes them money
I’m a detand. I look at the ceiling like it owes me a hundred bucks.
He’s a detand. He stares at the ceiling like it’s the bank.
She’s a detand. The ceiling probably wants to run away from her.
6
a detand is someone who looks at the ceiling so much it starts to look like they’re in a relationship
I’m a detand. I look at the ceiling so much it feels like we’re dating.
My neighbor is a detand. He and the ceiling have been together for weeks.
She’s a detand. The ceiling probably thinks she’s perfect.
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